Secret to paddling success: High JOKE rate

In outrigger paddling, there are so may facets to making the canoe go fast. There are various training programs that emphasize technique, strength, endurance and overall fitness in order to make the canoe go fast, and therefore win. However through my extensive studies I have come to realize that the key to being successful in outrigger paddling is the one thing that goes overlooked. Main thing is to breathe, and also to have fun. And there is nothing more fun than a high joke rate. My philosophy is HIGH joke rate LOW stroke rate. Utilizing this principle enables the paddler to give him/her self the ability to breath and crack jokes. It is very hard to tell even the most basic joke such as: what's the difference between a dog and a fox?........a six pack, while doing a 78 or 80 strokes per minute. The only way a joke can be told properly while paddling is to give the joke teller enough time to recover from each stroke to generate enough oxygen to not only start the joke, but to deliver the punchline without being out of breath. If you can't even tell a simple portagee joke because of the lack of oxygen, how can you expect to orate a whole Rap Replinger skit while you racing. Almost impossible even for the most advanced athlete. I can recall a race a few years ago when I was sitting in seat 3 and I attempted to act out the Murdy Murdock from Ala Wai Motors skit during a distance race (if your not from Hawai'i you may not understand how funny the skit is. Check em out on youtube). Anyway, the stroke rate was so high I could barely get out, "looking for a car, perhaps an automobile". After that I was done. Complete waste of a good skit. So, in conclusion, unless your battling for 1st place, and even then you should keep joking, you might as well keep the stroke rate low and the joke rate high so that you at least enjoy your race and if your the 1st loser (second place) you will still have a smile on your face.

Howz that Zane?

Submitted by kekoa on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 2:27am