Paddler For Molokai Hoe - Will Pay Your Whole Crew $1000 each

Fit paddler ready for your TOP crew to compete in Molokai Hoe 2014.

I am strong, I work hard and I don't take no crap from nobody.

I want to be in your top 10 crew. I will pay all the expenses for the entry, flights and travel, just replace your #9 with me, the best paddler who is the life of the party. You will sure begin to enjoy my company and presence, I am just an all around fantastic guy. No bullshit. You like Heineken? Wait to you try the primo I got for you in my escort boat! Yah baby!

I decided its time to have top 10 in Molokai Hoe in my resume. Lets make this happen.

And here is the kicker, I will pay each of your crew members, including the escort and support crew $1000 if we place in the top ten. If we take top 5, I will double it. If we win, you will all be given a $10,0000 bonus. Plus a night on the town that you will never forget.

Please reply immediately. My yacht is standing by, I want to get to Molokai this afternoon and start to flex my muscles on the beach at lono.

Disclaimer: each of your paddlers must agree to never disclose my real name or identity, I do not want this to backlash on my reputation as real authentic amazing paddler.

Submitted by itsaboutwe on Thu, 10/02/2014 - 8:02am

Are you Nigerian

#1 Thu, 10/02/2014 - 8:21am

What's the rush? Not that long a trip from Kaumalapau to Kaunakakai, especially with a boat like yours... Larry.

#2 Thu, 10/02/2014 - 9:15am

I this is Larry and am F'n freaking out right now.
Fo real follow me on IG homie

#3 Thu, 10/02/2014 - 9:20am

1 Makule, you went screw up big time homie, you are OFF da crew!! Put your glasses on and read the disclaimer!!

2 keizo, its not about you, its about me, your website get the M and W all screwed up.

Poeple this is serious, if you like get to #1, theres only one way, call me! Lets make my dreams come into reality!

#4 Thu, 10/02/2014 - 10:57am

This is an interesting post. It makes we want to look at the crew selection of a certain crew and see if any changes were done at the last minute.

#5 Thu, 10/02/2014 - 10:57am

"I don't want to take away from all the hard work you put this season. You are really blending nicely with the boys. I know I said you had made the crew, but turns out there is this guy on the internet and from what I can read he must be a lot better than anyone we know because he's willing to pay us all for your seat. So....I can still get you in the race if your cool to farm out. You understand, right? I mean, this could be our chance to crack top 30"

#6 Thu, 10/02/2014 - 12:24pm

Are you on any PED's? If so, I need to know if they are the right ones that are really effective. This in would help me to know if you will be able to move the canoe better enough to push us in to top 10.

#7 Thu, 10/02/2014 - 1:31pm

Don't worry...its not Larry E. If he wanted to get in the game he would just buy a controlling interest in Shell's Tahitian subsidiary and slap Oracle and Visit Lanai and Fly Island Air decals on Shell Va'a 's Lightning and maybe take a seat for a few changes.
Otherwise...seems like a valid offer and if there is an enforceable contract.

#8 Thu, 10/02/2014 - 4:06pm

i don't understand what this all means. can someone translate?

#9 Thu, 10/02/2014 - 9:10pm

It could be Tony S. But then the crew would have to be iron, man!

#10 Thu, 10/02/2014 - 11:57pm

just spam ... and not the tasty kind

#11 Fri, 10/03/2014 - 6:59am

Oh good. I thought Jimmy Austin was at it again.

#12 Mon, 10/06/2014 - 5:34pm

Wow Really Tom Bartlet??? AGAIN???

#13 Tue, 10/07/2014 - 7:32am

try a different approach. Offer seat #9 the the $10,000 to get out. Money talks, B.S. walks... no wait, it gets posted

#14 Tue, 10/07/2014 - 11:58am

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