Some Humor-Outrigger Racing Compulsive Habits

We certainly need some humor and levity to this site.

We all have secret obsessive/compulsive racing habits. Most of them are related to preparation some related to racing habits. They are usually secret but would be funny to others if shared. They certainly don’t follow any logical principles.
I will start.

I expect others to follow. Yes I will be ridiculed later at practices and races, but what the hell I am trying to save this site from tense, myopic thinking. I know everyone has them but who will share.

1-before major races, I cut my fingernails and hair short. For some reason, I think I will be faster and cooler during the race and not catch my finger nail on my shorts. This makes no logical sense, because 1 0z of Gatorade weighs more than my hair. I even think about being aero dynamic. I see photos of racers with their slippahs in the bungee cords and I obsess about all of the extra weight slippahs create.

2-before major races, I transport my canoe with its cover. I have a cover, but never really use it for practice or anything- it collects dust in my garage. But for a major race I travel with my OC-1 in a cover. I think the habit is around thinking my canoe cover is like a gun carrying case and that when I unzip the cover it is like I am pulling out a weapon to blow away the competition. My Oc-1 is a weapon of mass destruction. That is logical. It could also be phallic, but I will let others obsess on that

I really don’t have any food or drink obsessions, but I know there are many out there and would love to laugh at others quirky racing compulsive habits.

Submitted by Kona J on Tue, 06/23/2009 - 7:31am



Also to get it started I will share some of the ones that I have observed from friends

-Must have a Red Bull before a race

-Must have real cream in my coffee before a race. If this paddler doesn't have real cream then he is going atomic.

-Must have three types of liquids on canoe-water-cytomax- and secret drink that no one can know.


#1 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 7:37am


everyone has to piss right before a race.


#2 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 7:57am


  1. Kona J, I can relate to the hair. I used to shave my head every summer. Sort of an anti-Samson. I would shave it right before the first OC6 race of the season and keep it that way until after the last. My hair would then grow wildly through the winter. Therapy has helped and I no longer do this.
  2. This one is pretty disgusting, but I have a camelback I only use for races that after the race I do not use or even clean until the night before the next race. It then takes me the better part of the night to blast out all the critters than have grown to maturity in this thing until it is once again sanitary enough for human use. (I know, can’t wrap my head around it either.)
  3. Race jerseys are for racing only. I know a lot of guys practice in their club race jerseys or wear them around, but I will only race in mine. My club gets new race jersey designs every year and every year I buy 3 of them (a sleeveless, a short sleeve, and a long sleeve just in case) but will only wear the current season’s race jersey on race day. Last year I wore the long sleeve jersey for the first time a month after the last OC6 race of the season.

#3 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 8:09am


These have been with me since my bike racing days but have carried over to canoe races.
I have to know the course by heart, all the landmarks, times point to point, best route to run, etc.
I drove debmaui crazy before the races this year asking questions.


#4 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 8:28am


I'm changing mine.....

Pre-race: "Superman Oatmeal" (It doesn't make me "super", it's just named after a restaurant in Yogyakarta where I first ate it)

basically enough oatmeal for a family of 3, with a banana cut up into it, and cooked until it's mushy. Then tons of brown sugar. If I'm late for a race (which I occasionally am) you can eat it cold while driving with your knees.


#5 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 3:28pm


I enjoy a strong coffee before the race and peeking in the cooler to ensure there is beer in there for after the race.....

I also like a short warm up as in 5 min with an even shorter cool down.

I also think it's funny that the google add beside this topic to the right is all about OCD disorders... Thats funny Sh$t...


#6 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 12:27pm


Jibofo's correct,
but he drives my crazy wild = good.
However he could tell some story of my pre-race compulsive neurotic habits.
2 peas in a pod!!!!!! =)
here's one - excellent pre-race desert.
:)


#7 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 1:00pm


hmm....at the regatta's so far this year, i've not followed my pre-race compulsive neurotic habits. slacking i guess. however, i did follow them religiously this past year before the one-man races.

pre-race: gotta have coffee. and between 5 to 7 mcdonald's hash browns.

post-race: BEER.

nuff said.


#8 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 1:33pm


Night before: pretend you're not going to party but drink like a rogue elephant anyway.

Race morning: vomit on highway en route to race.

Apres race: repeat step 1


#9 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 1:45pm


bwahahahaha. i forgot about that. it does work.


#10 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 1:48pm


  1. Always have my slippahs strapped on the the back bungy. Good to have them instead of walking on sharp rocks or hot sidewalks/asphalt at the end of the race.
  2. 24oz Heed/Gatorade in front bungy, 50oz Camlebak with water on back bungy under slippahs. Only time I actually drink from the front bottle is at the end.
  3. Always wear a visor to keep sweat from getting in my eyes.
  4. Always carry an extra paddle. Even if/when the race is short or that I haven't broken or let go of the primary one in any of the races or practices.
  5. Thoughts of flying rocks or other stuff hitting my hull when on the road so I always transport my OC1 in a cover.
  6. I wear a reflective strap that forms an X on my back.

#11 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 2:00pm


powdered donuts and chocolate milk, Worked so good my coach got them for me, Thanks Six!!


#12 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 2:18pm


when i used to race kanaka ikaika about 10 years ago, i would have a Fruit Punch and Burger King Cina-mini's before every race. I did this for an entire season even though I would burp up cinnamon 3/4 of the way through every race.


#13 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 3:26pm


Ahahaha these crack me up.

I never paddled in a canoe race yet but before my judo tournaments. The night before I watch as much judo videos as I can then get too hyper to fall asleep. I wake up then make as much spam musubi's as I can from one whole can spam so I can eat all of it after weigh in's and gain back the 5lbs cutted.

Oh is it just me or did you guys sleep with your brand new paddle on the first night you got it. and sometimes I catch myself talking to my boat.

I dont know if this is a good or bad thing but I keep beers cold in my cooler for every paddle.


#14 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 3:58pm


OK this is fun.
i adjust my hat about 5,000 x before the race starts and a small twist of my hat on the line then i'm ready to hammer!
:)


#15 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 7:05pm


I eat gummi bears before and after. Unfortunately, everyone I know seems to love gummi bears - especially the pesky kids - so now I have to bring enough to share. Or sneak off and eat them in private.

Dip my hands into the water, one at a time. If one hand accidentally touches the water after that, but before the race starts, I have to then dip the other hand to even it out or something.

And yeah, poopoo, I have to pee about 800 times before a race 'cause I get nervous. And I'm only talking 6-man here... who knows what will happen when I get into the one-man races.


#16 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 8:16pm


i always put on deodorant the morning of my race, both pits and one good strip down my chest incase i need it, i always eat a pb n j sandwich a few hours before and immediately after, and i never color coordinate my jersey to my boat, or wear a special outfit, that said i dont put on my jersey until i am just about to launch my boat, and i usually huli before i start on purpose just to see if i can. i too sleep with my new paddles the first day i buy it, and before a big race like molokai, my girlfriend gets pissed


#17 Tue, 06/23/2009 - 9:06pm


Not just for races, but whenever I walk past my canoe, I always gently run my hand down her and say hi. She has a personality and needs to be made to feel wanted.


#18 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 1:21am


Spam musubi and a 24oz Monster (green can 300 calories of pure energy - however recently switched to 16oz blue can, only 20 calories and same amount of energy).

I'm with 6 as 1 with the camel bak cleaning - mine is sitting under my bed festering with acceleraide from Maui to Molokai - gross - maybe time to throw it out and start over.

Lots of cheap cold beer after, Tecate is personal favorite but BL is more in the price range.


#19 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 1:36am


Wow, Some of you are moving to the rituals category, but they are hilarious.

I like the strip of deodorant down the middle of your chest-classic

Kahuna-Don-you obviously have to be clearer in your directions about nothing in bottom of canoe. Maybe "I will beat your ass and maybe kill you if there is anything in the bottom of the canoe! Aloha let's have a good race."

My friends and I call it going into “Brain Damage” Or doesn’t play well with others.

It reminds me off the boat lay out. I obsess if a piece of tape or strap is dangling in the water. Of course if I focused on the paddle in front of me and pulling hard it would probably make up for it, but I just stare at strap and think of which teammate I might have to kill after the race.

One way I described it to friends that made them laugh was I said my left side of my brain was demanding from the right side of my brain “ Give me the damn launch codes”, because it was time to go NUCLEAR.


#20 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 5:13am


“Give me the damn launch codes”

CLASSIC! LMAO!!!!

I alway spend the week before the race obsessing over the stuff I'm going to do "this time" to be sure I'm ready... Then I stay up too late the night before, sleep in, and forget everything as I rush to make it to the race on time... Where's the start again? Where are we registering? Shit, I'm gonna miss the start!


#21 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 8:38am


To always close down the bar at Kalua Koi the night before the race.


#22 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 8:57am


There's a bar at Kaluakoi??? Someone must have really closed it down before their last race...

for me- If I miss my pre-race poop, I'm screwed!


#23 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:13pm


tnhale...before a big race like molokai, my girlfriend gets pissed...

That is hilarious...and a bit too close to home.


#24 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:30pm


Kanu The Rock

-Always paddle with a shovel bungeed to the back deck to clear a path through the 'bergy bits and growlers that wash up on the beach.


#25 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 2:17pm


for real - just before I get in the OC-6, I wade/walk to the bow, face the canoe, lean down and splash a little water on the bow with both hands and ask the canoe for a good race.

the one time I didn't do this we hulied.


#26 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 5:37pm


Someone I paddle with in a C2 who shall remain nameless always had a piss at the start line just before the gun went off. I had to watch the said liquid pool around my feet till the gun went off and I could open the venturi!@#$

Much more pleasurable in a OC2 when the piss pools around his own feet$$$$$

And I used to sleep with my favorite paddle until Mrs Clarkie kicked her out.....


#27 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 7:58pm


jus make doodoo 15mins before race. all good to go.


#28 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 8:39pm


Vaseline... I hate chaffing ! Had my ass burnt once, hehehe !

I obsess if a piece of tape or strap is dangling in the water

I obsess so much about that... There shouldn't be any air bubble trapped under a sticker...

I also want the other 5 paddlers to go to bed early... even if I stay awake till late ;-).


#29 Wed, 06/24/2009 - 11:00pm


Mine are mostly "night before"...

Inspect and clean steering blade, lay out all my clothes in a pile (in order I put them on), trim nails short, sand any calluses on my fingers, recheck tide/currents/swell/wind predictions on internet, wash and dry lenses on sunglasses (and back-up pair), wash and dry camelback.

I also have "unlucky" shorts that I never wear for races.


#30 Thu, 06/25/2009 - 4:46am


one time before i did a run, i was talking to an antie, and she told me to go feel the water in your hands and thank it for being so beautiful, and to thank the beautiful day, and to wish that everyone would travel safely, and that is a ritual i try to do when i remember it. another thing i try to do is tell everyone i see goodluck before the start of the race.

howabout this has anyone been still rigging their canoe on the beach, and the race start half a mile off shore?


#31 Thu, 06/25/2009 - 11:01pm


when i was paddling 18 boys, we used to do a dance after every race. we always listened to the same song before and after our race. it was Superbad by James Brown. people used to love watching us do it.


#32 Fri, 06/26/2009 - 10:22am


I lol'd many many times. Only because i do some of the same stuff. Gotta go to the lua for No1 and No2 right before some races before because i get nervous sometimes. I also rub the hull of my canoe every time a walk past my canoe and occasionally look down the hull just to check that the chines are still there and still straight o.O. Before race gotta fly the ama just to make sure i remember how. I dip my hands in the water all the time and even the paddle to so that i make sure i get "in touch" with the water. I actually try and buy clothes now that match my canoe, whether i wear it in a race, to a race, or no where near a race. That way i feel like i am the boat (i dont know, it's kinda just an excuse that came off the top off my head). I'm in the process of looking for a matching patagonia jersey as well. Before OC1 races i put on everything, board shorts, jersey, glasses, occasional hat, and check it out in the mirror so i know which way to wear everything so that i look badass.

hmm i think thats about it. This is a funny thread, i really enjoyed reading this one. aurytee kona j.

Aloha,
kcchee11


#33 Fri, 06/26/2009 - 6:15pm


kcchee,
LOL, the mirror thing cracked me up. As long as you look badass, you will paddle badass! Maybe I should try that out. I can use all the help I can get!
Aloha,
Eric


#34 Sun, 06/28/2009 - 11:17am


Hiro Said,"Vaseline… I hate chaffing ! Had my ass burnt once, hehehe !

I obsess if a piece of tape or strap is dangling in the water

I obsess so much about that… There shouldn’t be any air bubble trapped under a sticker…

I also want the other 5 paddlers to go to bed early… even if I stay awake till late ;-).

--

Be water, my friend.

http://tuaruavaa.blogspot.com/

Wed, 06/24/2009 - 11:00pm"

Thanks for reminding me about the Vas Hiro. I did a 200km race one year and forgot to choc the crack with vas, the result I tore all the skin between the cheeks which got infected. By the time I got home there was that much puss you could use my asscrack as a cheesedip!

Permanently scarred. Would love to show it off but no one wants to look!@#$


#35 Mon, 06/29/2009 - 12:49am


a piece of tape flying freely off the front canvas while paddling rough seas and your in seat 1 is totally enough to drive a person crazy!!!!
:)


#36 Mon, 06/29/2009 - 1:32pm


clarkie
that's way more than we want to know.


#37 Mon, 06/29/2009 - 1:52pm


I was getting ready for my race Friday night and going through my normal rituals and I started cracking up when I realized what I was doing. Just for laughs I tried some of the ones you guys posted. Here's what did NOT work:

1-trimming my nails
2-cutting my hair (I managed not to shave my head, but still clipped it pretty close)
3-strong coffee with real cream
4-pissed three separate times next to the canoe while waiting to launch
5-my usual eleventh hour camelback cleaning after three weeks of fermentation
6-wiping down the front manu of the canoe before launch
7-adjusted my hat about a hundred times before the start
8-put one good strip of deodorant down my chest incase I needed it
9-I've always laid my stuff out the night before, but just this once I tried it all on in front of the mirror to make sure I looked bad ass (I didn't)

My race was no bueno, but I think some of the stuff cancelled out the other stuff killing the good juju. Or maybe its because the boss vetoed me when I tried to bring my paddle to bed.


#38 Mon, 06/29/2009 - 6:06pm


cheesedip ??? Yuck !!


#39 Mon, 06/29/2009 - 6:13pm


6 as 1,

That is funny. Very scientific. Obviously the problem was the order that you used. Now my math is fuzzy but with 9 rituals used the possible combinations are ?????.

Good luck. Let us know the combinations that work. Also what deodorant were you using-that is a big factor and I belief one extra movement of the cap would have done it.


#40 Tue, 06/30/2009 - 4:32am


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