PADDLER PERSONALITY PROFILE
We all know that there are different types of paddlers out there. We all have a different quirk or style, and we see those styles in other paddlers. I have developed a profile for each of the outrigger paddling types. This is true for males or females. You can of course add to it or comment where you like. Who are you?
PROFILE-The Professor also known as the Fixer, or Captain Who Cares!
Description-The professor is a common paddling personality. The professor often has about 6 paddles for different conditions. The have the newest gel or supplement and often are on-line researching paddling stuff you really don't care about. They will say crazy things like-, 'In the Amazons, the stroke rate is 130! The professor loves to talk the ears off of Novice paddlers. They often confuse the novice paddler into thinking that they (the professor) are a great paddlers who know everything. The also like to propose wacky pre-race diets like poi, mixed with oatmeal with 8 eggs whites. However, the Professor really makes their mark in the world of secret training methods. Here is a common quote from the professor-I have called all of my friends at the top clubs and got their training schedule and methods-I put it all together and we should do' They tend to always know what we should do. They also have research to back up anything they might propose. I love when the professor sets up the BEST Oc-1 Time trial course to really determine the top crew and then gets stomped. They immediately blame their diet, the starter, bad Gatorade, the clock...etc., etc. etc. There are always a few professors in a club
PROFILEThe Psycho- also known as Meltdown, Snap!, or The I in team
Description-This is a very dangerous paddling profile. Sometimes they are easy to spot. Sometimes they are not. However, once you are in a tight, tough race, you will know if you have a psycho in your crew. The progression of a psycho starts like this. Usually they have pissed of everyone in their old club and then decide to bless yours. They might change their name or use middle name. They are frequently good paddlers-just not good teammates. Like I said before they are chameleons. To spot one you have to look for the EXTREMES. Examples-They are helpful to the extreme. Lets say you are planning a club work day on the boats. Everyone is to start working on the boats at 8:00 AM. The psycho might show up at 3:00 AM and do all of the work on his/her own. Also instead of having 2 beers after practice they might have 22. They also have the belief that they can pull the entire boat by themselves. This is the nexus of their rage. If a boat passes them in a race, they take it a personal challenge/ affront, and since they are strong enough to pull a boat by themselves-it must be someone elses fault-a team mates.-who isnt giving enough. The good points of Pycho are that if you ever get in a fight, they are good to have around. Also they are fun to tease and make snap. The psycho will eventually leave but don't worry another one will show up.
PROFILE-âThe Freak The Natural-Lats
Description- Please realize that the Freak is a Novice. The freak is the athlete that is perfect for paddling and has just started. For example you finally talk the super athlete at the gym or tri-athlete into getting in the canoe. They have 5% (8% for women) body fat, huge lats, nice skinny legs, and VO2 Max through the roof. The also have perfect technique without much practice. To keep the Freak in your club you have to do many things. Always tell the freak they really arent that good. This keeps them motivated and from thinking they are special and jumping to another club. Also give them the slowest boat (without telling them) for time trials. Rig ama heavy and give huge rudder. During race, you have to hide them-cover them up don't let other clubs know you have a freak, Don't let freak talk to other freaks, and never, ever let a freak talk to a Pro. The Pro could convince the freak they can become a pro if they leave your club. I'll get to pro later. The key to developing a good team is to have a freak recruit other freaks and then your club will flourish.
PROFILE-The Pro, Smooth, Sponsored
Description-I really don't need to describe the pro too much. They can be great leaders but they can be finicky as well. Pros like to paddle with Pros. Pros are truly brilliant paddlers, and I give them much respect. They have laser like focus and commitment. I don't know how some of them have kids. They can instantly tell what is wrong with your technique and many times will tell you-even if you didn't ask. Always make friends with pros. They know the water, tides, surf and you might even get a free T-shirt every once in a while.
PROFILE-The Soul Jah-also know as Mystic Paddler, or Toke
Description-The Soul Jah paddler gets along with everyone. They are fun, laid back. Many times they are ex-surfers. They are a blast to be with unless you want to win a race. Sometimes they are great steersman and have a mystic connection with the water. The can be good strokers, since they have a good rhythm. They can be frustrating as well. They have trouble with-showing up on time, chasing Dolphins for fun in middle of a race, losing stuff, and stealing weed. My favorite quote from the Soul Jah paddler is There should be like a Molokai Hoe in Jamaica. That would be sweet. Also if you have to borrow their paddle it could be Sticky
PROFILE-The Talker, Mouth, Canoe Cop
Description-The talker is different from the professor. The talker comes out mainly during the race. You can start to tell a talker when the volunteer to call huts and bumps. It then progresses from there. It is most annoying when they are not the steersman. They now think they have permission to tell you everything about the boat, the race, and what they are doing every second of the race. For example-I am going to bail now for 20 seconds. What??? Seat 2 is your left shoulder cramping? When is the last time you hydrated? Next change have a grape soda Huh??? Lets hit it hard for three minutes Two second later ease off don't fight this current Shut Up. (Reader-Are you having flashbacks yet?) ½ way into a race they will recap the whole race for you-"Alright 'Hut' we had a good start! Nice job! We ran good for 3 miles. Now let's turn it on. My lips are chapped because Hut I forgot chap stick. Don't worry I have it covered.-˜Bump' I'm going to take a drink, if you don't hear me for 1 minute it is.. SHUT THE F--- UP. I think you got the picture.
Who are you? Have fun with this. I will add more later. Also you could be a combination of some of these profiles. I know I am.
ALOHA-Keep paddling.